Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Dear god my vagina.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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