just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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