So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
