My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
