im drinking this country out of the recession.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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