Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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