man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
