your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
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