I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
