She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
