Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
