the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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