this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
