Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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