you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
