I'm eating all of the evidence.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm at about main and main street
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
