I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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