You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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