I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
