So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
