He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
