At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
