dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
