Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
