but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
