Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
