She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Modeâ€. So. Many. Orgasms.
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