You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
