Define "chronic" masturbator.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
