rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
