She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
