is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
