i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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