dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
