He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
