I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
50% drunk capacity currently
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
