We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
