Buhtt sex?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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