...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
