he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I supernannyed him into submission
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
