I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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