Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
