just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
