We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
