If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
