who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
