So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
