I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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