the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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