Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Randomize
