Plan B is the new Plan A
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
