my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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