Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
