haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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